I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
