i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
