whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
