I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
