she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
