He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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