Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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