Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
