Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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