just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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