yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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