woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
