Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Drunk is a universal language darling
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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