I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
