Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
That's intense
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
