this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
