Grow some girl-balls and come out already
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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