flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
