time to smoke my breakfast
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
