I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
