we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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