I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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