My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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