i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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