So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize