Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
