it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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