Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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