OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
