Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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