no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think your dad took our porno
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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