How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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