How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
