i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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