Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
