We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
