Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
