My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
