I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
