I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize