You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize