im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
