Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
