I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I cockslap morals
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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