I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
