she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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