somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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