i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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