just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
