A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
