Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
