you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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