"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
