I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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