he puts the penis in happiness.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
