i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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