i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize