belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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