i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
