Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
