Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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