I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
