U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
